It’s been nearly a month since I left work to care for my daughter, and I can finally feel the burnout fade. Like a cold you didn’t realise you had until you can actually breathe, I don’t think I understood just how depleted I was.

I was aware of the lack of spoons, the poor sleep, the zero energy. But I hadn’t appreciated just how much my job consumed me inside, like a smouldering fire. 

My daughter said the other day how happy she was that we were friends again, now that difficult colleagues weren’t stealing my energy. That hurt, I’ll be honest, because it’s true. I don’t have barriers, so negative people can and do bleed me dry. 

The other difference, now that I’m not problem-solving all day, is that there’s room for creativity at home. 

So many projects. 

All at once, because ADHD.

I’ve decorated the bathroom, painted Christmas cards, made lego, moved furniture, baked.

And now I’m restless, so very restless. Because projects need to have purpose (my worth is defined by productivity, payment and praise remember!) I can’t just create for the sake of it, there’s not enough dopamine in that. It needs to be for something or someone.

So, apologies friends if you have a birthday coming up, because you just know something painted, knitted or crocheted is coming your way. 

Sorry, not sorry. 😂